5.09.2009

La vengeance belge

Salut! Just a short, fun entry for now. My language prof gave us these jokes last week. The French love jokes about Belgians: stupid Belgians, dirty Belgians, whatever. Well, here's the Belgians' revenge, la vengeance belge. Some are better than others, and unfortunately jokes don't translate as well as I'd like.


A French guy uses a urinal, does he wash his hands before or after ?

--During


How does a French person commit suicide?

--He fires the gun 15 centimeters above his head, right in his superiority complex.


What do you call someone who speaks three languages?

--Trilingual

What do you call someone who speaks two languages?

--Bilingual

What do you call someone who only speaks one language?

--French


Why do the French love Belgian jokes?

--Because they make them laugh three times over: the first time when they hear one, the second time when you explain it to them, and the third time when they understand it.


Why do the French have smelly backs?

--From farting higher than their asses.


Why do you say “Go to the toilets” in France when in Belgium you say “Go to the toilet”?

--Because in France, you need a bunch of toilets before finding one clean one.


After creating France, God found that it was the most beautiful country in the world. It was going to cause some jealousy. So, to reestablish the balance, God created the French.


Why does a French person always drink from their cup when they swim?

--Because even in the water they need to open their big mouth.


You know how you save a French person from drowning?

--No, but all the better.


What’s the difference between Nelson Mandela and a member of the French government?

--Nelson Mandela was in prison before he was elected.


Alright, hope at least one of them got a chuckle. A bientôt!

Maggie B.

2 comments:

Allison said...

i certainly laughed. these might just be better than any belge joke ive heard yet!

Claudia said...

BAHAHAHAHAH i love the superiority complex one!!! and also the one about saving a frenchman from drowning.
last one: i am soooo gonna appropriate and use for brazil
beijocas, minha linda amada
claudg